The saying goes that no one starts out intending to make a
bad movie.
This sounds fine in theory, but the reality is more in line with — no
one starts out intending to make a flop. Hollywood makes bad movies all the time. Sometimes willfully (looking at you, Adam Sandler, Kevin James, & Rob Schneider). They're only bothered when their bad movies don't make money. Who's going to call the blatantly, almost defiantly lousy (to me) Fast & Furious movies bad when they rake in so much at the boxoffice?
When boxoffice success becomes the defining standard by which a film is deemed good or bad, creative decisions are ultimately ruled by their marketability and moneymaking potential. And just as there is a subtle, yet significant, difference
between someone wanting to be a great actor vs. someone wanting to be a big star, a movie that starts out intending to be a good film is not (necessarily) coming from the same creative mindset as one that sets out to be the next blockbuster boxoffice
success.
Which brings us to Robert Stigwood's $18-million boondoggle, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts
Club Band.
| Peter Frampton as Billy Shears |
| Sir Barry Gibb as Mark Henderson |
| Robin Gibb as Dave Henderson |
| Maurice Gibb as Bob Henderson |
| Dianne Steinberg as Lucy |
| Sandy Farina as Strawberry Fields |
| Donald Pleasence as B. D. "Big Deal" Hoffler ...or Brockhurst, if you go by the film's credits and bubble gum cards |
While it certainly could be argued that with Sgt Pepper, Stigwood was ahead of his time in presenting what amounts to the first jukebox musical (Abba's Mamma Mia! was a good two decades away), in this instance, the film's unique structure proved considerably less problematic than its execution.
To give you an idea of what this movie is like: take the Las Vegas-y kitsch and celebrity
clusterfuck lineups of '70s variety shows like Sonny & Cher, Donny &
Marie, and The Captain & Tennille
(they were all the same, weren't they?); top with a pop music trio projecting all
the charm-free blandness of The Hudson Brothers forced into an oil-and-water collaboration
with a soloist radiating a screen presence not matched in dynamism since Helen
Reddy appeared as a nun in Airport 1975; drench the whole thing in a garish, cocaine-fueled color-palette
reminiscent of a Sid & Marty Krofft kiddie show; blend in diluted, American
Bandstand-friendly arrangements of a catalog of 29 Beatles songs culled from their
most innovative albums: Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club Band, Rubber Soul,
Magical Mystery Tour, Revolver, Abbey Road; ultimately mold into an inchoate fantasy adventure told entirely in song; tack on superfluous narration so soporific it makes Don Kirschner sound caffeinated by comparison, and voilĂ —Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: The Movie.
| "A Splendid Time is Guaranteed for All!" This lyric from "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" was used as the film's promotional tagline and later came to bite the movie on the ass |
Set in the fictional town of Heartland, USA, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (hereafter
referred to as SPLHCB) is a musical fable about a wholesome boy band and their
magical instruments — regrettably, Freddy the Flute fails to make an
appearance. Conflict,
such as it is, is introduced in the form of an oily music producer named B. D. Hoffler (Donald Pleasence), who interrupts the band's bucolic braying long enough to whisk them off to Los Angeles, where they are to be corrupted by the temptations of sex, drugs, and wealth.
The group's departure allows an organization called F.V.B. (Future Villain Band, played by Aerosmith) to steal the magical musical instruments, which in turn hastens the decline of Heartland, now taken over by an overacting real estate agent named Mr. Mustard (openly gay British comic Frankie Howerd, who makes Tommy Steele and Zero Mostel look laid-back). The rest of the film is devoted to the Heartland boy band's efforts to retrieve the instruments and save their hometown.
The group's departure allows an organization called F.V.B. (Future Villain Band, played by Aerosmith) to steal the magical musical instruments, which in turn hastens the decline of Heartland, now taken over by an overacting real estate agent named Mr. Mustard (openly gay British comic Frankie Howerd, who makes Tommy Steele and Zero Mostel look laid-back). The rest of the film is devoted to the Heartland boy band's efforts to retrieve the instruments and save their hometown.
| Paul Nicholas as Dougie Shears |
By way of a love interest and virginal heroine, we have newcomer Sandy Farina as Strawberry Fields (a kind of bargain-basement Ronee Blakley with a lovely voice). For femme fatale contrast, there's newcomer and just-as-quickly newgoner Dianne Steinberg as Lucy, a sexy pop singer backed by The Diamonds, portrayed by that
'70s R&B trio you forgot to forget, Stargard (their 1976 hit "Wear it Out" is actually pretty good).
British actor/singer Paul Nicholas adds to his sizable screen resume of unscrupulous creeps by playing one of Pepperland's few rotten apples. Iconic "fifth Beatle" Billy Preston, cast as a magical weather vane, is saddled with what can safely be described as the apotheosis of the Magical Negro trope. And last but not least, we have a pair of curvaceous female robots called
The Computerettes (yep, you read that right) aiding and abetting Mr. Mustard and sundry "guest villains."
Even by '70s standards, this was some weird-ass shit.
But as Ken Russell spectacularly proved by bringing The Who's equally bonkers Tommy (1975) to the screen, a hallucinatory rock-opera with no spoken dialogue and a preposterous plot can work, provided it's done with some talent and ingenuity. Alas, with SPLHCB, little of either is in evidence.
| Frankie Howerd as Mean Mr. Mustard |
![]() |
| The emblem of fictional record magnate B.D. Hoffler (r.) spoofs the logo of the Robert Stigwood Organization (which is a good luck Japanese toy cow called an akabeko) |
I have a hunch that Stigwood had the same kind of micromanaging hand in this film's production as Allan Carr had on the similarly calamitous Can't Stop the Music two years later (you don't hand over a $20m-million production to Rhoda's mother because she's experienced, you do it so you can control her). I say this because SPLHCB is so undistinguished in execution and so indifferently shot, I'm at a severe loss as in knowing what talented director Michael Schultz (Cooley High, Car Wash) brought to the mix. The film looks like a Kaptain Kool & the Kongs TV special.
| Steve Martin as Dr. Maxwell Edison |
THE STUFF OF DREAMS
In fashioning a musical with no spoken dialogue but extensive, expository voice-over narration, SPLHCB is an unhappy-alliance hybrid. A combination of sung-through
musicals like Evita, Hamilton, and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, and jukebox musicals like The Boy
From Oz (Peter Allen), and—ironically enough—the 1998 stage production of Saturday Night Fever, which combined songs
from the Bee Gees music catalog with songs from the film's soundtrack.
| Earth, Wind & Fire had a #1 Soul Charts hit with their version of "Got to Get You Into My Life" |
The 1968 animated feature film Yellow Submarine successfully strung together unconnected Beatles songs into a coherent narrative, but Sgt Pepper was not so lucky. It needed expressive actors to fill in the emotional blanks left in the song lyrics -- something Ann-Margret and Oliver Reed triumphed at in Tommy. In the lead roles, it needed pop stars with stronger identities -- neither the Bee Gees nor Peter Frampton had defined individual personas. These are casting issues, to be sure. But the screenplay by music journalist-turned-first-time screenwriter Henry Edwards really doesn't give anybody much to work with.
The classic, Candide-like structure of The Who's Tommy was ideally suited to Roger Daltrey's blank-slate countenance, presenting him as a relatable everyman beset by harrowing encounters with bizarre characters on his journey to spiritual enlightenment. Unfortunately, Sgt. Pepper takes a plot straight out of an episode of The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (replace the stolen Sgt. Pepper instruments with a Mooseberry bush) but gives us heroes too bland to identify with, a low-stakes adventure that's hard to care about, and villains who shoot for outrageous and funny, only to land at embarrassing and hammy.
| Alice Cooper as Father Sun, nee Marvin Sunk |
This leaves all the film's heavy-lifting to the Beatles
tunes themselves, which are a pretty fantastic lot, and generally well-performed...if not memorably. George Martin, producer of all but one of the Beatles' original
records, was the film's musical director, but this didn't prevent the release of the double LP soundtrack album (arguably the only reason the film was made at all) from being a colossal flop. Copies of the soundtrack were found in remainder bins almost before the summer was over.
PERFORMANCES
Anyone who's ever seen the Gibb brothers together on
a TV talk show knows how self-deprecating and engagingly funny they can be. On one
such program, when asked to come up with Spice Girl-type names for themselves,
they answered: Beardy Bee Gee, Teethy Bee Gee, and Baldy Bee Gee. They came across as relaxed, quick to laugh, and highly likable. Alas, none of these qualities is in evidence in Sgt. Pepper. Uncomfortable and self-conscious, they seem to carry the constriction of their too-tight costumes into their performances. Granted, none of them are really given characters to play,
but Schultz never finds a way to bring out the brothers' natural charm and relaxed rapport.
Even their vocal performances sound hemmed in.
| Positively Ripping Gibb is bustin' out all over in this shot, reminding us that wearing those form-fitting disco shirts of the '70s (fine for dancing The Hustle) came at a risk |
Frampton mostly looks uncomfortable and seems to wish Andy Gibb would step in at any moment and take his place. (He
never really recovers from how he's introduced in the film: wearing a pink
shirt under stark-white, tapered overalls embroidered with a big red flower
and the name "Billy"…he looks like the world's tallest, lankiest toddler.) But of course, I do love the scene where he's supposed to be distraught, with fake tears streaming down his face the seem to emanate from from his temples and forehead.
| Dianne Steinberg and Paul Nicholas make a fun pair of double-crossers. Too bad the over-busy script never allows their villainy to take root. |
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS FILM
As much as it pains me to admit it, there was a time I
really loved this movie (I still do, but I'm speaking of a time when I actually
enjoyed it unironically). In my defense, Sgt. Pepper was released a mere four weeks
after I'd moved to LA, and I was still heady with the degree of hoopla Tinseltown could unleash when promoting a movie. The publicity push for Sgt. Pepper was enormous,
and it was hard not to get swept up in the circus-like atmosphere. In the summer of 1978, disco was king, the Bee
Gees were riding high on the phenomenon of Saturday Night Fever (it had opened a mere six months earlier),
Frampton was all over the radio, and Steve Martin was THE up-and-coming comic
sensation.
I saw the film the day it opened at the Pacific Theater on
Hollywood Boulevard. Thinking back, it's remarkable to think I had to stand in line to get in. The hyped-up audience was really in the spirit, and they laughed loudly and readily. Applause even broke out when Billy Preston made his appearance.
| Billy Preston as Sergeant Pepper (the weather vane, anyway) |
| Steven Tyler and Aerosmith as Future Villain Band |
| Careers and reputations were decimated by the film's flop reception, but by all accounts the cocaine flowed freely, so at least I hope everyone involved enjoyed a splendid time. |
BONUS MATERIAL
Filmmaker Michael Schultz was Robert Stigwood's first choice to direct the film Grease. When hired for Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Schultz became the first Black director to helm a big-budget musical. Unfortunately, his feature film career took a hit when Sgt. Pepper flopped so tremendously, taking several other careers with it. But Schulz continues to work steadily in television and, in 1991, was inducted into The Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame.
![]() |
| One of two prop trumpets created for the film by Dominic Calicchio is housed at the National Music Museum in Vermillion, SD. An eBay auction purchase donated by Allan R Jones. |
![]() |
| The solo albums by Dianne Steinberg (1977) and Sandy Farina (1980) failed to cause much of a ripple in the music industry |
![]() |
| Standing 6'3" and made of plaster over a fiberglass frame, the Sgt. Pepper weather vane was sold at auction for $1,265 in 2012. |
Copyright © Ken Anderson 2009 - 2019






